TYPICAL THURSDAY

I so wanted to post this poem I wrote last week, though its bizzare structure(it's actually a dialogue between two former lovers) makes me feel all insecure and weird about the reaction of those who might read it...
Just because I in general like trilogies of all kinds, I made one of my one. This poem completes as a unit two previous poems of mine, The same all songs and Hollow you can read by clicking upon them.
As I have writen before, not all of those I occasionally write are inspired from personal experiences and whether the protagonist of these three poems is me, or some parts of me during different periods, or just a fictional heartbroken persona(I'd vote for that last one) with some experiences stolen from me or just people who make me want to write something about them, I think that everyone can identify himself at some points with that person...
I wrote this last poem because I thought that someone who suffers all that longing and still scratching the place where his/her memories are resting(that's what is happening in the first two), deserves some kind of treat. This treat/favor could only be some moments with the former lover, even if this meeting is just an illusion.

The probable meeting

We would at first be so happy
To meet again so abruptly
After all that enormously long time

I’d say let’s have a cup of coffee
Or is it gin tonic what you prefer
And you’d be like, I’m late for work
But anyhow, I was about to quit in any case

I’ve been in this business
For four bloody years
And I still find myself where I began
Yes, and I just got out of a relationship
And I’m sorry cause it was my longest one
I mean after the one we had…
It's just that we had this three months crisis overwhelming us

Is this the armlet I gave you the day before you leave?
I didn’t think you’d notice, I was hoping at least
But it’s my luck and by now my second skin
Though it has grown fainter but I’m glad you haven’t

You look pretty much the same too
And your taste in clothes got all improved
Well, drop that and tell me everything that’s new
It’s been much
I really don’t know from where to begin…

I got to get this bus, but this was unexpected
I mean great and I guess invigorating
I might call you some day
You haven’t changed your number, have you?

Gosh, now I see what I’ve missed about you the most
The way you look when you talk and smile and seem
Like “playful” at the same time
But I can’t hear you behind that glass
Tell the driver to stop, or just call me someday
I haven’t changed my phone just in case you’d call
(But you haven’t and it’s fine if you won’t)

THURSDAY

This time I post nothing related to the prompt but a poem I wrote a few months ago...

Hollow

Today I felt like I garnered tons of respect
but this was just not quite enough
I also gained a price for my life long contribution
but this didn't make any difference at all, either

At noon my friends got me a surprise party
I admit i didn't expect after all these years that they do the same
And my kitty gave birth to eight healthy fluffy kittens
I was just sad to have to give away

A new show launched on TV this afternoon
and producers promised it to be more violent and pretentious than ever
And as if this was not already enough
I got myself a limited- edition cardigan
I was definitely not in need of
but all my colleagues had purchased even a month ago

This day was long,
because depite all these I was trying to find you between the crowd
or at the subway and the bar I had my brunch served
But I could see you you nowhere
and that dessicated my chances to absorb life and bliss
And all I did was counting the hours 'till night to come
and think of the day before, we weren't apart

LEMONPIES

Even though I’m the type of person who most of the times likes to explain everything that goes around him and is always trying to find hidden meanings and read between the lines (even the times there’s nothing there to explore) I know that in this way magic and surprise and unprecedented goes away…
This is the reason why I didn’t want to write anything about explaining where the name of my blog came from…. I mean, the name, it’s not totally bizarre or anything extravagant but for me these three words “lemon pie” and “dreams” mean something together and I want to share it with anyone reading this.
So, “dreams” don’t symbolize anything else from the way we know them, dreams are for me as for everyone else something we want to fulfill some day, something we haven’t achieved yet but the prospect of accomplishing of the thing we crave for make us feel warm and happy just thinking of it.
“Lemon pies” on the other hand, symbolize in this case the thing of what someone might is dreaming of. Just because I have never ever tasted one but for a reason I can’t identify sounds absolutely delicious to me, makes me parallelize them with my dreams that I haven’t make come true yet but I believe that when I will, the feeling will be a very pleasant one.
Because in a way, I think that it’s true that we don’t really know how it is actually like achieving our biggest dreams and aspirations until we do, since when we do and we know they are not dreams anymore but a fact, and until that moment we only imagine how it might would be like. And that’s how I feel with the lemon pies. I believe that they must taste great but I can’t tell for sure. But I can always hope that they will taste fantastic as my biggest dreams will feel like when I’ll experience them.

SUBJECT FROM THE MEDIA

A couple of weeks ago I watched an Oprah kind of imitation show in one of the Greek networks and the shocking story made me want to post something in order to point out some wonders I had, but I then didn’t cause I was afraid that I’d just “talk” in general and with no actual purpose and significance so I dropped it. But this Monday when I read what the prompt was all about I thought that I should use the issue as my subject, believing that in this way it makes sense to refer few of the things I watched.
So, here is the narrated story by that, obviously kind of retarded, woman at that show which made think some things.
Well, she said that she had killed her own child when it was only two or three and now she’s out of jail only having been in there for, I guess if I remember correctly, about seven years.
The whole story made think of the following (except for that there’s no justice in the world; can you believe it? Sentenced only for seven years for claiming the life of her child… is that a sufficient punishment or enough time for reformation, no matter which her alibis, I can see other than paranoia probably, might were?) : a) are people fully responsible for their acts or the main part depends on the environment they have grown, their nature, their intelligence or the lack of it, or anyway the exterior elements/circumstances that have shaped their idiosyncrasy?
b) Can people who have done really awful actions that are inhuman or against the law ever overcome them just by suffering for some time what law obliges them to do (spending time in jail, the most common) or they are always caring in the shoulders the burden of remorse?

So, in this poem I tried to deal with these two things: the two opinions about, until which level someone can say he’s not responsible for his own actions* and if no matter the punishment, how elastic or harsh it is, can a person ever be able to feel weightless again in truth, after having done something so outrageously bad and abnormal.

*I believe we are fully responsible for whatever we do, good or bad, because the exterior elements that are shaping us and making us to a point who we really are, can always be filtered from the individuals, and those elements are consisting in the end who we really are in the total, so it’s us not something outside us.

PS God I could never study sociology (back in high school I wanted to) cause just by this issue it seems to me that it is such a difficult science having to do with all these troubling matters.

Can you believe that I didn’t want to write so much in the first place and I just only intended to do a small introductory reference for that show? Enough, let’s get to the poem…

Dazzling Aphrodite cursed apostate

Dazzling Aphrodite
Why have you enchanted
All of those men?
You are probably mistaken
It was my beauty
It was not me

Cursed apostate
Why have you betrayed
All of those loyal men?
You are probably mistaken
I did it for the money
And my family
I didn’t do it for me

Dazzling Aphrodite
And how do you sleep
Knowing that those men’s wives
Shed tears in your name?
You are probably
Too innocent
And too far to see

Cursed apostate
And how don’t you weep
Knowing that those men’s families
Shed tears in their past virility winning- fame?
You can’t be blamed
For being incompetent
Comprehending the burden of being me

And because it’s got so typical of me to post two poems occasionally, here is one I won’t think twice if I should post it or not cause I would do the second and I consider it is rather funny not say silly. I hope it’s amusing anyhow…

Life must be a joke

Two flies are doin’ it
Right there on my left shoe
This must be it
This must be the greatness of life

And two infidel penguins
Are exiled
In the Southest part of North Pole
This must be it
This must be the greatness of love

And while I was expecting a promotion
I got dismissed
From my formerly established job
Well, this must be it
This must be the greatest of all

BODY

Ok... this time I decided that I should follow the prompt though I couldn't get that inspired (I mean, I don't think that the outcome, the poem down below, is the best I could write, but I guess I' m not that bothered by that). The "body" as an issue is so interesting and controversial because there are so many opinions about it, but all of them come around two main scopes. Some neglect it and some praise it. I support the latter perception.
There are religions that tell people to starve themselves and punish their bodies and make it suffer so that they can find peace and salvation at the after life. There are magazines and the media that force young girls in a very sly way to go skinny. There are people who feel ugly and can't stand themselves because the picture they have in their minds about how they should look, it's not the one they face when they look at the mirror. And there are those who declare that the body is the temple of the soul and so on and on.
For me, the body is a tool, a vehicle, a medium to feel and express my feelings, a wise mechanism and so many other things I can't think of right now....Anyway, the poem that comes after was written not only because I wanted to overcome my last afternoon tendency to stay idle by using this way as an exercise for my bored brain but primarily because I wanted to find out which my aspect specifically is about the theme and how I could express it through this form....


It could most likely be this

They tried to hide their emotions
In scraps made of cotton or silk
And for a while
They covered their weaknesses
By working out countless hours at the gym

Neglect and punishment
But they’re still at the same skin
Wise but hurt from junk food and nicotine
If only they could take a moment and let it speak

I wonder if they never had a scar
Which made them seem special and unique
I wonder if they’ve never been the lovers
Who seem like one person while they sleep

So obscure, so beautiful,
So powerful
Like almost, as a small miracle is

I wonder if they never had a wound
Which healed alone, just by the help of time
I wonder if they’ve seen the mothers
Who hold their newborns for the very first time

So close, so mysterious,
Such tense
Like almost, as electricity is

It could be this
Nothing but pure electricity…

It could most likely be this…

JOURNAL

During the last period (most of the September specifically) I didn't have the time to post as frequently as I wanted to, and I was just doing it when I was to post something either for Poetry Thursday or for Photo Friday, my new blog hobbies, which fortunately raised dramatically the traffic of my blog and I'm thankfull for that...(although I guess that I still feel that this blog is interesting only for me).
Anyway, apart from that up until now I I think I never posted anything that could be characterized as some kind of a journal or a description of the actual and everyday occurences that go on in my life, today I feel that I want to deviate a little bit from this unwritten rule of mine which says never share your personal data through internet and I'm going to write about the point that my life is at this moment.
That's because I aknoweledge that I'm kind of in a turning point and it's time to see what I've done or haven't done so far and reorganize or just organise more properly everything I'm up to, so that I can define, as much as the exterior sircumstances allow me to, my track... (And all September I was doing nothing else but making desicions and organising stuff and this was the main reason I couldn't find time to post).
So... Dear diary,
The whole month was quite frenzy,,,, You see, I was trying to control all these things one man is hard to, but I guess you don't know what I'm talking about cause you are not a 22 y.o frustrated male, you are just a diary, and right away I'll try to be more specific....
Ok, I finally passed all the classes in the faculty(only two or three left, does that count?) and the following semester I'm going to work in order to fullfil my practice semester so that I can get the diserable degree. And believe me, I had many things to take in mind in order to choose the bussiness that fits better to my purposes and my aspirations. That's because the city I live in, is not that big and there are not so many opporunities to find a decent company that has to do with Marketing and stuff.(That's the field I want be occupied in the future... Really blurred inside my head this moment, but I'll pursuit it the hardest I can). So the majority of my choices was restricted to working at a bank (the worst choise but with good money), a random company that I wouldn't learn anything there and I would have to be occupied at their account department(exquisitingly boring) or be extremely lucky and find a really interesting unoccupied position at a big coorporation I could discern nowhere at the ones my faculty had announced it was optional... Hard task, don't you think?
Well, after a month of endless searching and anticipation, innumerous phone calls and interviews, I got lucky... Thank God... Yes, the owner of a coorporation with many activities in the field of technology and internet among others gave me a call and after the arranged meeting which went really well, he offered me a job for the next six months. There are a lot of prospects also but the important thing is that for the next few months I'll have the chance to be occupied in something I really wanted and searching for and explore my potentialities also because that's actually the first time that I' ll work in a job that has to do with my studies...
So, this big chapter which demanded many hours of contemplation all this time, closed, or opened very optimistically.
Despite that which absorbed most of my time and my power, I just tried to stay focused and read in order to pass the left classes(I didn't go that well) and put an order to all the chaos that makes my life interesting(I guess). I enrolled to a class and I'm starting lessons of espanol, si, espanol, and I don't know, I'm trying to do things (learn a computer program per se) to build my CV.
As you can understand my one day old diary , I feel exhausted and relieved...
At all others, things rolled as always. Some days I'm either trying to be active and creative and having a good time and the rest I'm trying to relax and take a break from being active and creative and resourceful and and and, so that I'll be fully active and and and, the next day. Everyday is usual and unique.